Tuesday, May 10, 2011

What a cry baby

forgive me for being such a complainer yesterday. things are hard sometimes for my brain to process. mondays are those things most of the time.
today, it's supposed to be spring. real spring. warmer weather and chance of t-storms. finally. it's taken awhile to jump start this season in my heart. i still kind of feel like i'm sloshing around in december.
this past year has been concrete in my veins. April 23, 2010 I found out that I was losing my job that I had for years. i left in june. since then, i've lost my routine that I had for 5 years. it's been incredibly difficult to find a new one. sincerely and seriously, i can't seem to find my place. i'm floating around, existing, but not ever really fitting in. i miss people who have deep history with me.
i'm not saying that acting like someone who has the emotional maturity of a 4 year old is excusable, but when i think about this past year, i understand. i'm not that sure i gave myself enough time to grieve the loss of something i held dear.
so, here i am now, subtly sad about the life i had.
i still have a life partner who loves me and i him.
i still have a robin's nest outside my window.

life moves on and so do we. and, really, that's okay.

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