Friday, May 13, 2011


there are plenty of things that totally get me down. lately, the biggest is feeling lonely and displaced and completely overlooked in the scheme of things. that's a big one. i feel overwhelmed and over stimulated to the point of rawness. i want to cut open my chest and let my heart slide out into the mud. i might as well, most of the time i'm completely empty. those things are floating around all six layers of my cortex. i'm functional most days, maybe even (seemingly, well, hopefully seemingly) happy. there are things that get me down, but a few things really make me feel like it's okay to be a human.
i'm serious. i love to floss. i don't understand people who don't. it's easy and healthy and supposedly, it adds longevity to one's lifespan.
and not trendy little partridge or swallow or sparrow coffeemugs, wall decals or necklaces (though i like those too). real birds. watching them and knowing state birds and knowing that i know the names of every bird on my feeder (and probably your feeder, too). i like that i have a favorite bird. i like remembering when and where i saw that bird and how i knew exactly what it was, because i was waiting to see it.
i like sleeping and reading. i like making fun of people who don't read. now, not people who *can't* read - just *don't* read. big difference. i used to help people learn to read.
that seems crazy, almost a whole lifetime ago when i had the desire and the drive to actually volunteer. ((wait, i'm starting to merge into sad territory... avert.))
i really, really, really like when i'm driving and a bird decides to run across the road, or parking lot to avoid getting hit instead of fly. it's a wonderful thing. so so funny and makes my heart feel 100 times bigger. i'm filled with so much love it's unbelievable.
i like it when i'm driving in a parking lot and i yield for pedestrians and they do a little jog to get their bodies to the other side. it's a little pay back, like, "okay, you were sweet enough to let me go, now, let me hurry the process" even though it doesn't. that's just another thing that makes me want to explode.
i like cross referencing facts.
i like writing poetry. more than that, i like reading it.
i like rubbing my feet together under the covers. it calms me down in a way i can't describe.
i like cussing. it's one of my favorite things in the entire world. it started out as a joke. but now, it makes me feel enormously awesome. and also, hilarious. maybe i'll clean up my mouth when i have kids. more like, if i have kids.

i like this blog post. maybe i'll write more at a later date.
probably will.

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