Saturday, July 23, 2011

i'm not the man they think i am at all


I've said it before and quite honestly, I'll say it ten thousand times before death becomes me, Tennessee lives in my bones. All in all, I'm just an ol' girl from a hollow. I try to function properly away from the mountains and away from the water, but I'm failing miserably. I don't belong here.
I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Somewhere not here - somewhere tucked away in the middle of nowhere.
I envy the people who up and move.
Just down right jealous. I want my skin to fall off in southern dirt - and my bones to be eternally red from the clay they absorb. When I'm sad, I want to be sad with cicadas and katydids and tall, flaky cedars.
It doesn't matter.

I'm still swaying from spending a week on the lake. It was fabulous.
I'm jealous of the week I just had. I want to go back to there. I want to do my birthday all over and get just as drunk. I want to get mad at my brother, throw down my biscuits and gravy and yell at him all over again because hugging after a fight like that is so sweet. This past week rocked my face off my skull. I miss it already, like I miss a lover who just moved away to bigger and better and prettier.
Vacations cause voids. I'm going to say vacations are void-ish.

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