Tuesday, February 17, 2015
My Life Is Such a Weary Thing
A warmth swept my entirety - my sweet husband's body curved around mine. His breathing ever steady in my ear. His familiarity surrounded me, the comfort I've known for over a decade. He knitted himself close even in his hurt, his tenderness always existing even in his sleep.
Draped over my shoulder, a purring cat. And another one sleeping on my exposed foot. I felt his little heart beat against my skin and his cool, tiny pads.
We were a winter tangle, a beautiful nest of gentle heat and sleepy bodies; tame mammals cooing and clutching one another.
And for that one moment, I was the one thing every living soul in my home needed.
It only took a few seconds to remember that I don't deserve any of it. And that in a few hours (or minutes, who even knows about time in the middle of stolen contentment) I would wake up and it'd all be gone. And that the day wouldn't let me meditate on that sweetness. That instead I'd swell my eyes shut, crying, before lunch.
Posted by erica at 7:45 AM