I Got the Month of May

Let me tell you about what I did yesterday: I got out of bed, made my husband coffee, packed him a lunch, did chore related items, showered, marched up to my office and polished off a 20 page paper (31 pages with Works Cited and an Appendix).

Today: I got out of bed, made my husband coffee, packed him a lunch, did chore related items, went out to breakfast, and saved a nest of baby sparrows. It's true.

I watched a Blue Jay fly up to where I assumed a nest was - all the while 7 sparrows are screaming at him - so, I saved the day by hopping out of my car, clapping my hands together and screaming, "GET OUT OF HERE, BLUE JAY". He and 5 sparrows flew away and immediately, the petite female jumped right in the hole. I save birds in public. 

I've been taking walks when anxiety dips his toe in. I made hummingbird food. Bought pink roses. Wore my husbands dirty shirt. I'm doing important work, you guys. Every single thing I've done today and yesterday I register on the Extremely Valuable scale.

Three years ago, I was in the Painted Desert. Last year, in an emotional one.

And this year, I'm a better human than I've ever been.   

Got to be Something Better Than in the Middle

Saturday night, after a ridiculous shift at work, I had a few friends over to sip on a little Pecan Whiskey and talk about our lives before bed. Unwinding with girls and pecan whiskey is a good way to unwind. After Saturday shifts at my current job I mostly feel like blowing up buildings. Consistently. Instead, I drink and then go to bed. Where, coincidentally, I don't sleep well because I dream about the job soaked with job-related anxieties. What a terrible cycle, right?

Anyway - there were moments Saturday after work that I realized things have to change. There were moments in the goddamned craziness Saturday AT work that I realized things have to change. What a constant and terrible proverb for my life. So, these girls were sitting in my living room lamenting about bigger things in life, much bigger than jobs, and it hit me: I'm missing it because my brain is wrapped up with job related cellophane. I'm missing it.

How does it happen?